When I watched this video it sort of reminded me of who I was before Christ.
Lost, hopeless unsure of what I am looking for.
But as I walked with the Lord in the years that I have given my life to Him, I now know what is real happiness.
And as this season of MY HOPE Singapore, I pray that the people that I am inviting will also understand that without God, we cannot find the happy life that we so yearn for.
Becoming the Hero, waiting for the Princess (Part 3)
By the grace of God Xiangru and I started to talk again on MSN, on extraordinary circumstances which led to us finding that we were still very much attracted to each other. One thing led to the next and we were officially attached on 8/4/2007.
This date was special to me for a few reasons:
1. It was Resurrection Sunday. I remember at Ps Roland’s house when he announced that we are official and I was made aware of this date, God said:’ I am resurrecting this part of your life because you gave up your life to me for the past 2 years.’ Tears swelled up in my eyes as I heard it and I could feel God’s love fill my heart.
2. It was Ignez’s birthday!! When Ps Eve was still pregnant with Ignez, I had wanted to ask if I could be the God-father. But when I heard that Xiangru was the God-mother, I thought that it would be better that I dun mention it to not complicate things. Now I will be Ignez’s god-father even without me asking!! God is GOOD!! :)
God showed me two things to show me that she was the one:
1. The thing that irritated me about her the most was her pride. She ALWAYS thinks that she is right. Talking to her feels as if you are being talked down to by a teacher. But what God showed me was that she had learnt of her own weaknesses and that she is not in total control. That she knows that God is the one who is control and she is just a guide to her girls.
2. This might sound a bit funny. Because of her strong character, I had always feared that she would have problems submitting to me as a wife. This feeling was made even stronger by the fact that she was YN144 while I was YN1728… like lower in rank! Haha! So when the news of Ps Danny being seeded up into Ps Eugene’s 12, my first thoughts was not about being in the 144. As a matter of fact, I was telling God: “You must be kidding!!” and I was preoccupied with what that meant with regard to us.
After we got together, Xiangru disclosed that what kept her interested and attracted was how I handled myself 2 years ago when faced with my mistakes. I faced them, admitted that I was wrong and was ready to face any consequences. She also saw how I grew in the 2 years and worked at my weaknesses. In seeing all of that she respected me for them. What kept me interested and attracted was how she allowed her pride to die and understood more of God’s grace.
Even now, we are seeing how God is molding us to be perfect for each other. If you know us, you will know that we are two very different people with conflicting personalities. But God is showing us how that difference is being used by Him to complement each of us. An example is how she is so detailed and meticulous in her work while I am so big picture and free spirited. Combined we become a dynamic duo! She has also become gentler, which can be testified by all her friends around her, in the near 19 months that we have been together. :)
Let me end my sharing with this: we have always been taught that in praying for the right partner, one of the things we can do is to list down 5 non-negotiable and 5 negotiable criteria that we want. The common thought or practice is that it will never happen and that we would ‘downgrade’ our requirements so that there is higher chance of use finding the right one. Especially as we grow older, we start to fear that we will never find the right one. I want to testify that at age 31, 3 Oct 2009, I will be marrying my rib, helper, soul mate and best friend who fits ALL of the 10 criteria that I listed down. Want to know what the 10 criteria are?? Maybe next time I will tell you. :)
Now she seem more and more beautiful with each passing day and I can tell from the way she looks at me (and by her telling me) of how she looks up to me for the things I do and believe in. You can say that finally, after 2 years, that I have become her Hero and she has become my Princess.
On 13 November (Thursday) at 7.15pm, come gather at your school or office lobby to pray and bless our city, along with other members from different LoveSingapore churches.
This is also a list of places that DEtribe will be gathering and anchoring, so please do come and pray!
Venue: Singapore Polytechnic (Primers Room, click on this link to see where we will be gathered spprimers.blogspot.com/2007/01/locate-us.html)
Time: 1900hrs
Guide to getting to Singapore Polytechinc: www.sp.edu.sg/SPweb/appmanager/home/default?_nfpb=true&T2204579131142218658226_actionOverride=%2FcmsTools%2Fextension%2Fcontent%2Fmain%2FgoHome&_windowLabel=T2204579131142218658226&_pageLabel=SP_ABT_OC_TSP_Page
Contact Person: Kenny Foo
Venue: Anderson Junior College
Time: 1900hrs
Contact Person: Lionel Chan
Venue: SIM (Main Gate)
Time 1900hrs
Contact Person: Liang Ming
Becoming the Hero, waiting for the Princess (Part 2)
I first heard of this name “Xiangru” from a friend Amos during Uni Year 4. And then somehow that name just stuck in my head for the longest time. I remember that after I graduated from Uni, in one of the chilling out times with Shixiong at ECP where we talked at the Coffeebean, we were talking about our ‘Top 10 list of potential girlfriends’. Xiangru was one of them but I just dismissed it coz at that time I could not foresee how I would get to know her and not to mention start anything.
I finally got to formally know Xiangru in 2003 during one of the retreats at Sentosa Scripture Union. I remember I introduced myself to her and then went on to tell her what I know about her. It was just a simple intro during an ice-breaker. We did not like talked much after that till the Family Camp at PL end of 2003. What caught my attention was when she referred to a joke I made during the camp as one of the moments she will remember about the camp. At that time there was still nothing special going on.
Then I screwed up. Thinking that it was ok to explore with a few girls at the same time, I decided to get to know 2 girls better at the same time in 2004. I asked Xiangru out for supper and she agreed! We had roti prata at Jalan Kayu. Later I got to know that firstly, she dun normally eat supper and secondly, that was the first time she was out with a guy on a one on one date! I would also go on single dates with the other girl and often sent her back and walked her up her place. To top it off, I would tell them about each other so as to ensure transparency. Haha! That was what I thought! Honest! During the whole time Ps Danny was telling me about how Xiangru would be a better choice and that the other girl was not ready and had issues. I refused to listen and even told him that I knew her better than he did. I ignored what my brothers told me.
Well, it all exploded in my face when on one hand I did not know how to ‘reject’ the other girl and on the other hand my actions have already put Xiangru off big time. All 3 parties were getting hurt. The pastors had to step in to close the matter. On separate occasions I had to apologies to the girls and end things. I admitted my mistakes and was ready to face whatever things that might come. The other girl even scolded me on her blog with some vicious words. Angry as I was I knew I deserved it.
It was only then that I realized that what Ps Danny was telling me about her was true. This made me surer that I wanted to start something with Xiangru but it was already too late. I really handled things very badly. This resulted in 2 years of having minimal contact with Xiangru. When Ps Laifun asked me once whether it would ever be possible for things between Xiangru and I, I told her that it would require a miracle. The other girl just faded away and even left church. Sometimes I wonder if it was me who caused her to leave. It was something that I had to settle with God.
In the 2 years of no contact, I gave my life anew to God and the cell was born. It started with Kevin, Gavin, Darren…. Then was Brandon, Xianbin, Ryan, Don, Nigel… then Eugene, Bjorn Ng, Bjorn Liu, Gifford, Xunfu… just to name the few familiar ones. God just brought these lives one by one to me without me lifting a finger. And for two years I poured my life into theirs and just concentrated on them. Personally I worked on my weaknesses. I gave up meeting my female friends on single dates coz I knew that was something that Xiangru did not like. I realized that I was someone that would say anything to save my skin and I was good at it, which made it even harder for me to change that part of me. I also had to work hard to clear the emotional baggage I had and re-learn how to be friends with females maintaining a proper and healthy boundary.
It was a humbling 2 years......
Last part coming up! :)
Lionel
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